Thinking on the Future Past

I am about to finish my first semester at college. Imagine that! A few short months ago, I was just beginning to pack for the move and now I'm getting ready to pack up my things to go home for Thanksgiving break and then shortly after for Christmas break! The time has most definitely flown by. I've always thought of me moving to college as a fresh start. Someplace new where no one knows me and I can just be me. And honestly, It seems that I'm still waiting for that. My past, the first semester of college where the starting over was supposed to take place, still seems like the future. Like I still need to start over. But what am I really wanting to happen? Do I want a complete new person to just suddenly take my place? Or am I just waiting for me to finally get my head on straight and be that successful person who has everything figured out like I've always imagined I would be? Because the second has definitely not happened thus far. I guess what I'm trying to say is that it seems that we're always wanting to be someone different when shouldn't we just want to be ourselves? We can't be anything else anyways.